Pretenses

These lines bend
as I try to walk the straight and narrow.
Breaking, turning,
consuming my mind
until I find my way back again.
Don't pretend to love me anymore
and don't pretend not to.
Facsimiles of smiles are all that keeps me going these days.
And what keeps you going?
Nothing more than panic and fear,
a masochist in every form.
The tears fall as I fade away.
Who wants to be hurt?
I do.
It's a need.
That's why I keep coming back.
Because the greatest pain of all
is trying to be without you
and failing.